February 26, 2013

Dear Baby Hawley,

Today was visit number two with the midwives at Clark.  I saw Alison again.  I think she is my favorite midwife, although Beth is pretty good, too.  You will get to meet one of them in July or August.

We listened to your heartbeat and you are at a strong 150-160 beats per minute.  It took a bit of work to find you today, but not quite as much as last month.  I'm glad each time I get a chance to hear your heart beat as it is another reassurance that you are alive and well.

I have begun to feel you move inside me.  I can't feel you all the time yet, but a couple of times each day you flutter to let me know you are there.  That is one of the best feelings in the world.  Right now only I can feel you, but I know that in a very short while, your dad will be able to feel you too, when he puts his hand on my belly.

I'm gaining weight as my stomach begins to expand.  I can still fit into some of my own clothes, but each week I find I have to put another pair of pants into the "I will wear this again one day" box.

Oh, Little One, you are loved.  Keep growing and keep kicking.

Hearing Your Heartbeat

Dear Baby Hawley,

Today was my first visit to the midwives at Clark.  You are 13 weeks now and everything looks good.  I have been healthy - I still haven't felt the exhaustion I had with Catherine.  I've gained two pounds and so far, unless we've told them, no one can tell that you are on the way.  We will keep the news just within the family for a bit longer, letting you grow.

Alison, the midwife, was excited to see me back in the office, and is happy that we want to try for a VBAC.  Catherine was born via C-section, but we hope to avoid that with you.  We will watch you closely and hopefully you won't get turned around and stuck like Catherine was on the day she was born.

We listened to your heartbeat, and at 150 beats per minute, you sound strong and healthy.  You gave me a moment of worry this morning, because it took Alison quite a while to find you with her doppler.  You are tiny and we think you like to hide!  She finally found you, and my heart relaxed and jumped for joy at the same time as I got to hear you for the first time.

I love you, Little One!

Daddy Figures It Out!

Dear Baby Hawley,

It didn't take long for Daddy to figure out that you are on the way.  Catherine and I were going to surprise him with the special shirt we ordered, but he guessed our news before the shirt even arrived!

I am still nursing Catherine and I came home from school today with my little black bag.  I commented that it had been a tough day and I didn't have much milk to give Catherine.  Daddy turned around and asked, "Are you pregnant?" but he had a goofy smile on his face.  He was only kidding when he asked that.  I told him that I couldn't hide the truth and that, YES!!! We are!!!

He was really surprised.  He'd just asked that question because he had had a funny dream last night in which I was pregnant, and now it turns out that the dream was telling him the real story.

Daddy is so happy!  He asked that question as we were standing in the kitchen.  I was getting ready to leave for a meeting with Aunt Anna.  Uncle Mark and Ezra and Leah were staying here with Catherine and Daddy for the evening.  They were just arriving and we quickly decided to hold our little secret to ourselves for a bit longer - you are still so tiny inside me and it's fun to have such a big secret that others don't know about yet.  We are going to enjoy our private knowledge of you for a while before letting the rest of the family know that you are on the way.

Dearest Little One, we love you so much!  Keep growing and know that you have a family that loves you and can't wait to share our world with you.

Dear Baby Hawley,

I am so excited to be able to say Hi to you!  I learned today, after a few days of wondering, that you are on the way!

Unlike with your older sister, not much changed in my life when you were conceived.  So far, I have not been super-tired, I have not yet craved any foods, and I haven't had to change my gym routines.  All of those were tip-offs that Catherine was on the way.  You, however, have slipped into our lives quietly.  I wonder how long that will last?

I have decided to not tell your dad about you quite yet - Catherine and I ordered a shirt for her that says, "I'm going to be a big sister."  When it arrives, she will put it on and surprise him with the message.  I know he will be as happy about you as I am today.

While Catherine is too young to understand that you are on the way, I can tell you that she loves babies.  She has begun to carry her baby doll around the house and gets excited when we see babies as we are out and about.  She is going to be a great big sister and I am glad that you two will be close in age.  You really will get to grow up together.

I'm looking forward to sharing the news of you with everyone - and meeting you in a few short months.

I love you already, Little One,

Dear Baby Hawley

This journal is saved for Baby Hawley #2 and our life with him or her.